Happy Veteran’s Day to my husband and all who’ve served! You deserve all of the gratitude and free food offered to you this weekend. Being in the military is a huge commitment, and not one that most people would sign up for even for a few years. You are forced to do physical training, are away from your family for long periods of time, have to adjust to returning to the routines of your family after deployments, and wear the same outfits day in and day out. And then there’s the putting yourself in harm’s way to protect the people who may or may not appreciate you. It’s a tough job, and my husband has done it for almost three decades.

Then there’s me. The “lovely wife” as I’ve seen lifelong military spouses referenced as. I’m not sure I’m deserving of that title as being lovely is not a characteristic that would have described me during the newlywed years when I was complaining about him being gone…or when our kids were young and I was juggling what seemed like a cascade of tasks and emotions alone…or when at the start of a deployment the furnace decided it was the perfect time to stop working…and the roof began to leak during a torrential rain season just to prove that I am stronger than that I seem Winnie the Pooh quote.

No, lovely is not an adjective that described me. Frazzled, exhausted, and stressed to the point of combustion would have summed me up.

What I do understand is sacrifice, and that term is a solid description of our years of active-duty service with the National Guard. When we started this journey, I envisioned stateside disaster relief and limited training. Boy was I wrong. I’ve lost count of the number of places he’s served and traveled to. I’ve also gotten really good at adapting to it all. I no longer complain. I no longer take for granted the moments when we are able to work as a team raising our kids. I no longer question the big picture and instead see our part in it.

If you’d asked me thirty years ago if this was the life I’d envisioned, I would have said no. If you ask me today if I regret a second of it. My answer remains no. How can you regret a life built around service and sacrifice?

Will I ever be able to live up to the title “the lovely wife?” I’m not sure. I guess you’ll have to ask the Colonel currently watching RedZone football that question.